Shirley Temple Denied

Hello all my little schnookems! I've missed you and let me first apologize for my absence. I was vacationing in the Canary Islands and missed a couple of episodes. I've got a radiant tan and a new cabana boy boyfriend, but I couldn't stop thinking about LC! On with the news. So for the past couple of episodes nothing jaw dropping or substantial has really happened at all...until this episode. We saw the return of scruffly old Jason at the end of last week's episode and were promised more this week. Oh and more we got! Now I've never been a huge Jason fan, but I've got to say I think maybe he has sewed his wild oats and finally returned to normalcy. It was totally obvs that Lauren still has the major love jones for senor Jason. She was telling anyone that would listen about her meeting back up with him for coffee. (BTW did she meet him right after rehab? Did I hear that correctly? Is that a little weird?) At first I thought that she really wanted to get back together with him, and he just wanted to be friends and atone for his past misgivings (I mean Yom Kippur is coming up people!). But he was super flirty with her right back.

It all started when they met at Ketchup (which actually sounds like a place I don't ever really want to eat) for dinner. Everything was going well. Lauren was using her little flirty voice and smiling more than I think I've ever seen her smile before. (She has thin lips I noticed more in that segment that never before. Just an observation.) And Jason was playing back-even though he totally checked out another girl. In an all too perfectly produced move, just as it looks like this faux date thingy was going off without a hitch, good ole Top Lip MaGee walks in with skinny pop wanna be Heidi. (ps Check this out if you get a chance. It's horrifyingly awesome!!!) He makes some a-hole comment about glad to see them back together again and he and Heidi sit down making dirty looks at them. I'm proud of my girl LC for keeping her cool and rising above. Heidi and Spencer, being the mature adults they are, send over a Shirley Temple in an overly 5th grade jab at Jason's drinking problem. Lame-o! Heidi is just 'baffled' at how Lauren can be speaking to Jason, her abusive, drug problemed, ex and she can't even talk to her. Oh Heidi, don't you remember the start of the season girl, 'YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!' Lauren's never going to talk to you-ever! Heidi even insinuates something about making another 'tape.' At any rate LC and Jason leave as the Blondies scream obnoxious goodbyes behind them. (pathetico) As they drive home, I realized that Lauren was falling for him yet again and I screamed a heartfelt, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" at the TV, expecting a rekindling of sorts. In a move that obviously meant that she denied her true feelings, Lauren got out of the car and left, simple as that. My happiness was to later be negated as she met Jason again for coffee and joked about going to the movies, and bowling, you know things only lame sober people do. And she also made the quintessential move that means I totally like you when she said with a smile and a playful giggle, "you're such a jerk." Ladies, is this not the equivalent of, "I'm yours forever, all you've got to do is ask?" I feel a heartbreak coming on, especially after seeing previews for next week...but I'll get to that in a second.

Although all of that was awesome, the absolute best part of last night's episode was my new hero ELODIE!!! After Heidi retold the story of how she and Spencer were just trying to be nice and send them a drink, you know to test the water (HA!) Elodie straight up calls her out. She said something to the effect of, "so what exactly did you do to make her not even want to accept a drink from you?" and, "weren't you friends with Audrina and Whitney too? What happened to that?" etc. And the best part was after she was done she said, "ok, well...I've got to finish this up so I'll see you later." BLAM-O!!! SA-LAM!!! Then cut to confused face Heidi. I think she's starting to realize that the number of Team Heidi members are dwindling quickly. You know before when I said that I thought it was all Spencer and Heidi was just innocent to it all, well I'm changing my tune. It may have started out that way, but Heidi is jumping on the evil bandwagon and riding into the sunset! All my requisite love for Heidi after this episode, and the video I saw of her earlier on TMZ has diminished.

Things to think about for next week: Previews-Jason gets engaged, wha? Did he meet this girl at rehab? Isn't part of the 12 steps to not get into a serious relationship for the next year? Uh, not that I'd know. Did someone from the Canary Islands contact you!?! I was there for a vacation, a vacation I tell you! Since when can't a girl enjoy a bottle or four of wine? Uh, moving on... Where was Audrina? Working on her oh so important relationships with Justin Dirty? How much do you love Elodie!!! I think my roommate Katy will now name her first born Elodie. Could there please be more Whitney? I'm memorized by the way she talks. "Cahl-ahhh-fohrn-yaa." Love it! Well kiddos, I'm glad to be back from my relaxing trip and back to the Hills! Let me know what you thought!

BBQ and Crested Butte

First things first: Seriously does 'he who must not be named' top lip ever moved? Did his dentist dad have it afixed? I know I've mentioned this before, sorry, but it really bothers me. So Heidi asked Spence to go with her to meet the fam. He reluctantly said yes, and it seems that he's totally freaked out. (It seems like this relationship is getting too real for him, yes?) Uh did they take a private plane? Small town, whatever, is a private plane really necessary? How exactly does Spencer have any income? At any rate the Heidi's seem to like him for some weird reason. Between you and me I think Heidi's pops is gettin wise to Spence's evil game as evidenced by their little mountainside chat. (Did you notice that the horses didn't even want to face him?) Let me just say that maybe I'm a 40 year old person but the Heidi's were saying some important things. Listen Up Heidi!!! I totally loved that they grilled him at dinner and he turned out to be an immature little kid. True colors Heidi-open your eyes! Why can everyone else but Heidi see it! How hilarious is it that Spencer had to sleep on the couch. Awesome.

While Top lip and Blondie are in the mountains familying it up, Brody is throwing a BBQ with all kinds of ladies and Mailbu fun. They are 'about to get their fitness on,' bt-dubs. While the fitness ensues, Brodie breaks himself! After what seems to be a 15 minute hospital trip, he comes back with x-rays and a badass cast. Come on ladies, who doesn't love a cast?...Looks like LC sure does...interesting. Is there love flaming yet again like the flames from the trash can on the beach side?

A bit later on the beach Lauren has a bit of a drunk cry, God love her, and Dreens is right there to cheer her up and remind her that she's got some great stuff going on despite losing Heidi. While Audrina and Justin dirty guy seemed to have hit it off in the waves earlier that day, when he left her helmet on the couch Dreens is out! Lauren then cheers her right up by pointing out what a D-bag he was all along.

Alert: My obsession with Lo has reached new heights. Hats are generally not a good idea, but dang it Lo! So cute! Girl can pull it off!

Questions: Are LC and Brodie getting back together? On the scenes from the next did Spence-o-rama seriously have a beard, cause ew? Is Audrina really done with Dirty Bobby?

Eat your Pinkberry and Enjoy Life!

He who must not be named never ceases to amaze. First of all was the atrociousness that was the Hollywood spray paint 'art mural' and now the arcade game? He is seriously something else. I did appreciate Heidi's quip of, "when is it going back?" Take back the control girl! Call me crazy but this episode made me hearken back to the days of Team Heidi just a lil bit.

So I've had the unfortunate opportunity to be the third wheel many times and let me just say I think Lauren's triple date with Audrina and Justin Bobby, aka JBob Hoodie Greaser, was by far the most awkward. If the burps alone weren't enough his blatant disregard for what Lauren's thoughts did the trick. Is it just me or does JBobbles have some sort of Eddie Vedder circa '91 thing going on? Quick note to Audrina:

"Hey girl, I know you don't gots all the smerts in the world, but have you seen yourself? You are two steps above cute, lady, and I think you can do way better than JBubs. I'm saying this as your friend. He's no gentleman Dreens. Be done with him! In the words of my roommate Leanne, 'ew he is so yuckie." So true Leannepants.

Did anyone notice that the second time they show Heidi and Spencer's apt there are magically two arcade games. When did this turn into Spencer's magical playhouse? Thank heavens that the white paint arrived, but poor Heidi that roller is as big as she is! Good for Heidi standing up for herself. I still have love for the girl, and the more I see makes me believe that the blond one has his hooks in her good.

Hooray Lo returns (for only one scene) and brings the fun! I also have the sneeking suspicion that if there were a Pinkberry in my vicinity I would be totally obsessed. I don't even really know what it is, but I think it's in the ice cream family, which means it's a part of my family.

Questions to ponder: Is Justin Bebbs in a band, I'm guessing yes. I'm also guessing that a crowd favorite is their version of Evenflow. Did you feel kinda like ole Spencenator was going to haul off and kick some tiny Heidi tail when the 'art' was destroyed? What's the deal with Whitney, she was only in 1 scene! More Whitney and Lo!!!! Alright peeps, hope you enjoyed this weeks episode and it holds you over until next week.

She knows what she did...or did she?

Helllllooooo all two of you who actually read my blog! Hope your summer has been super. Although I wasn't planning on starting this up again until the proper network season started in a few months, The Hills is back. It's too big to not cover especially with all the press it has been getting lately. I went into this season thinking I knew it all but after last night's episodes my ideas may have changed a bit. So here are some thoughts on what went down:

So last night was incredible. First of all I was super pumped that there were two episodes. Double trouble. Although I thought that perhaps Heidi was a part of the 'bring Lauren down so I can pump up my own Paris Hilton look alike pop music career' scheme from the beginning, last night's episodes may have changed my mind. I think Audrina was right, she has been a little brainwashed, or at least hoodwinked. My personal theory is that Spencer, aka he who must not be named, is really using Heidi in his whole scheme to dominate the world. He's an evil genious really-and his ghetto fabulous 'Hollywood' living room mural proves it. From the clueless look on Heidi's face during the fight I think she actually may not have known about the rumor in the beginning. Poor Heidi. Although now that the screaming match has taken place it's time for Heidi to stop trying to reconcile and jump on board to take Lauren down.

Moving on-what the crap is with Audrina's dude Justin Bobby? First of all-he's way to awkward and not cute and needs a good hair scrubbing. Maybe they are perfect for each other because together at least they have a combined total of 4 brain cells. I mean she stands Lauren up for this guy? And thank goodness for the return of Lo. LC probably had a more fun night with her anyway. She's everyone's favorite-let's face it. I hope she is recurring. I loved it when she questions Justin Bobby on his name-Priceless.

Also props to Lauren for makin out with the British dude. Anyone with an accent is automatically a little bit cuter.

Ok so what did you think? Did you think Heidi was in on starting the rumor? Will Lo be a recurring character? Will Lauren wear baby doll dresses all season? How old is Lauren's mom-cause geez!? Will Audrina ever figure out what to actually call her new boyfriend? What was the deal with Jason being on upcoming episodes? Do you think that he who must not be named has had his top lip permanently glued to his teeth so it does not ever move? Should guys with blond hair have beards? Will Whitney come off a little smarter than she did last night?

THIS JUST IN!

Hallelurrrrya the mullet is gone!

hmmm...what about Brian?!?

Ice Storm 07- To The Situation Room!

First, please let me offer my apologies for failing to update, especially after such a fantastic week of television. It seems that being stuck in a house due to ice for three days straight has quite an effect on one's brain/ability to be in public. After wearing a pony tail and pajamas for days on end, I had almost forgotten how to function in the civilized world. OK...it wasn't that bad, but it was hard to drag myself off the couch and get to work! Since I have watched a ridiculous amount of television, I will attempt to only cover the basics.

Let's get right down to it. We've got a lot to cover folks! Last week marked the much anticipated return of Grey's Anatomy. I don't have much to say for last week except it was really sad! I was looking forward to something big happening and was, honestly, a tad disappointed when the only big thing that happened was everyone being super depressed. I mean like Eeyore lost his tail sad! Even when Izzie fiiiinally deposited the 8.7 Jillion dollar check, she was flipping out neurotic crazy sad. Other things that were sad included, but are not limited to the following:

*George's dad in the hospital + bad cancer + he knows he's about to buy the farm = saaaaad
*Christina + Dr. McHand Tremors not talking = borderline really annoying
*Meredeth + snoring + McDreamy can't sleep! = sub plot that I don't really care about but can appreciate. (I could sleep through a stampede of 17 wild unicorns with 7 tambourines each draped across their one mythical horn running through my bedroom, but, for the life of me, I cannot sleep through snoring)
*Meredeth + estranged father back in her life = interesting but sad with only one 'a'
* Bernice Matisse from Hope Floats all grown up + she lives at a constant 90 degree angle + the insurance won't pay for life changing surgery = HEART WRENCHING! Can you imagine not being able to stand up straight?

This week on Grey's I was hoping for a turn around of sorts. It has slowly jumped on the train moving up the sad hill to happyville, but at a slow pace. Christina welcomed George into the 'Dead Dad's Club,' (hello socially awkward, but whatever) after George's family made the decision to take his dad off life support. Not going to lie, I teared up a little. It was a scene that hearkened back to the days of Steel Magnolias and Sally Field yelling about her brown football helmet hair. (I played the moving and convincing part of Clairee in an eight grade production so I can understand the emotion!) Very saaaaad. Meredith talked to her dad...they both snore. (Side note: While my dad does snore like a freight train, I do not. Thanks Mom.) At least they found something in common. There was some situation with McSteamy aka. Dr. weird non connected facial hair and Addison. They were going to have a baby, but then Addison went and ruined that, but Dr. W.N.C.F.H decided that he would have made a bad father anyway. Christina and Dr. Hand Tremors didn't actually speak, but Christina won the standoff battle when he finally told the nurse while Christina was around that he hadn't had any more tremors. Dang it! Now I'm going to have to find a new clever name for him. Perhaps Dr. About to get Fired?

While Grey's has been entertaining, let's get down to the real stuff. 24 has made it's glorious return to our lives! Monday nights may have been good before, but with the addition of the most action packed show ever made joining the line up, I may end up calling in sick a Tuesday or two due to 24 hangover! Needless to say after a two night, four hour premier, I absolutely cannot wait to see how this season unfolds. Jack has returned from Chinese custody a seemingly different man. He was there for two years, but never talked. There is also some weird scar on his right hand that, to be quite honest, kind of freaks me out. It looks like a spider. My friend Taylor and I agreed that we were not really looking forward to a season focused on the Chinese government, or freeing Jack from them. So right off the bat I was pleased to see the season wouldn't really have anything to do with that.

Much seems to have happened over the two years since we last saw tuned in to the CTU gang. For one, they definitely hotted up Chloe and she is officially with Morris now. They may give her nicer hair and a black fancy satiny shirt, but they can never take away her scowl. Bill Buchanan and Karen Hays are apparently married. Good for them I say. I bet no other two people have uttered my favorite line more than these two. "To the situation room!" President Palmer's brother Wayne is now the President, and I think he listens to that squirmy guy Tom Lennox a bit too much. There is also an impressive new addition to the cast in Regina King as the President's sister. Since the days of 227 this girl has been a powerhouse. I know what you are saying, "but wasn't Jacke in that show?" She was, but a 13 year old Regina shone even brighter. I'm excited to see how it all comes together.

In a nutshell:

Basically, Jack returns and they immediately hand him over to terrorists. Good move Buchanan. Where's the loyalty? Then he, as expected, escapes and finds out the guy they are going after (Assad) isn't the one causing all the bombings that are going on. Instead the man who they turned him over to (Fayed) is really the bad guy. So he teams up with the reformed bad, now good, guy (Assad) to get the real terrorists and the action ensues. Of course no one believes him until the very end, when he has to do everything himself. Curtis seems to have quite a problem with Assad and does not believe he has reformed. He takes matters into his own hands and is about to kill Assad when Jack realizes what is going on. Jack has no choice but to take Curtis out! Cold. Jack proceeds to show his new vulnerable side and tells Buchanan that he doesn't know how to do this anymore. At that very moment, a small nuclear bomb detonates. It seems Fayed did what he came to do. We find out at the very end that there are four more nuclear weapons. I cannot wait to see what happens next.

So to end a very long post I will leave you with this. Last night I said an official farewell to The OC. I can only record 2 things at a time on my DVR and when there are 2 things recording you must watch one of them. I officially stopped my recurring recording of The OC in order to capture Scrubs and 30 Rock. It was a heart wrenching decision, but it was time. Goodbye Cohen family...I'm gonna miss you.

BUT WHAT ABOUT BRIAN!?!

After preparing a sizzling meal of zucchini and a chicken wrap, when what I really wanted was 17 slices of pizza and a chocolate milkshake (I'm being healthy...don't make fun), I settled down for some good old fashioned TV watchin. I figured this night would be good preparation for what was to come next week. The return of the most heart pounding, mouth watering show of all time...24.

It was a good start with How I Met Your Mother. As usual, the comedy played out perfectly. It was not the funniest episode I have ever seen, but anytime teenage Robin comes back, it's a hit. Last night's episode was about everyone's first time, Lilly and Marshal being slightly annoying and in luuuuve and Robin telling Ted that she loved him. It was hard for her...come on give her a break she's Canadian. It's hard for them to tell people they love them because they have to make room in their hearts around hockey and beer. There is not a ton of room left! There was also a scene with Barney as Johnny Castle. If you don't know who that is, then it probably wouldn't have been funny to you anyway. The episode was alright, but I could have, as usual, used a little more Barney...internet high five.

The enduring question of what about Brian, has once again gone unanswered. Although there were many moments during the hour episode that were perfect for raising my fist in glory to yell, "BUT WHAT ABOUT BRIAN!?!" I'm starting to lose interest in this show. It's a good filler when there is nothing else on, but I can imagine that once Monday nights pick up like usual, Brian will be a mere afterthought. I am also growing quite weary of watching Barry Watson and thinking to myself, "did he not have this haircut when 7th Heaven premiered in 1985? I mean it's a mullet, yes?" Everything that good old Barry may do well as an actor, his perfect helmet of hairsprayed hair negates. Sorry Bar...get a new do. Nothing of note happened in this episode other than Rosanna Arquette (this is how much I have lost interest. I don't even remember the character's names anymore) had her baby, some guy who I think played a football player in a movie once married a stripper, but convinced her to stop, and the divorced people are dating other people. Oh and Barry's hair didn't move an inch all episode long...sweet perfection. So my advice to the Brian people is as follows: Get Barry some new hair. It's just too hard to consentrate on anything else. After next week, I can slowly see Brian and my neverending quest to find out just what about Brian trailing off into the clouds.

In a devistating blow to my evening I realized that The Hills isn't on until next Monday. Until then I will be counting the minutes. I might seriously have to be old school next Monday and set up a VCR to capture the alarming amount of good television that I anticpate to be on.

Shows to look out for tonight: Dirt. This new show stars Couretney Cox and it premiered last week on FX. It is definitely an FX show. Courteney plays Lucy Spiller, an Editor of two magazines, one more like "People" and another resembling "Star." It is interesting so far, and I think it is interesting seeing Courteney Cox playing someone other than Monica so I will give this one a few episodes.

Other than that nothing is on TV on Tuesdays so do something fun and get a life! Have a super day!

Sunday Night Slump

Since the giant move of Grey's Anatomy to Thursday nights, Sunday nights have suffered seriously. The most desperate show is that of the housewives. The first season was new and captivating, the second season, while lacking, still had a large following because it preceded the hottest new show (Grey's). Now in it's third season, it is dying a slow death. Honestly, I haven't even watched the show in so long that I had no idea what was going on tonight. So my advise, if you love it then keep watching it. If you don't watch it, don't start.

The only redeeming show on Sunday nights is Brothers & Sisters. Calista Flockhart makes her triumphant (OK, maybe not triumphant but good nonetheless) return to prime time. An, as always, adorable Sally Field is set as the matriarch of the family. After Top Gun hot stuff Tom Skerrit (don't lie-you know you though he was hot when you were in the 2nd grade!) dies, the family is left to discover his dark and hidden secrets such as a two decade long affair with a woman named Holly and serious company debt. As the family tries to sort everything out Kitty (Calista) decides to move back in with her mother and crazy antics ensue. Tonight's episode was good, nothing outstanding happened to comment on. I would say that if you are bored on a Sunday night it is a good show to watch...not to mention the overwhelming number of attractive people on the show!

Well you should rest up because this week will be a good warm up for all the TV that is on its way back. Tomorrow night How I Met Your Mother (televisions best comedy) is back with a new episode. I will say it now and a million more times, this show is fantastic. It is some of the best comedy writing to hit the airwaves since the Seinfeld era. So get ready for another legend...wait for it...dary episode tomorrow night! Mondays are usually filled with so many heavy hitters such as Heroes (best new drama to hit TV), Studio 60 (the dramatic version of 30 Rock, but equally as good) and my cheesy favorite What About Brian. It is my weekly ritual to proclaim loudly as many times during the show I can, "BUT WHAT ABOUT BRIAN!?!" and throw my fist into the air. Honestly, the show I am most excited about tomorrow is THE HILLS! I know what you are thinking, The Hills, really? But this is one of those shows that I like to escape into. Plus, they dress really well, and I usually get some really good fashion tips. I just love that LC, she will always be the girl who didn't go to Paris. I will keep you updated on the drama that unfolds. Have a happy first full week back!

When I say "Hey mon," you say, "Hey mon!"

Ever since I can remember people have been telling me I watch too much TV. While it is true that I do watch many television shows, I do not believe I am in any way, shape or form a "couch potato." I love television, but not in the lazy couch potato way, like the way people will stare at a painting for hours. I love TV like that, like art.

In the age old question, "does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?" I believe that there is no definite answer to that question. Television gives us the ability to look at our true nature creating characters representing real people, but it also influences things such as how we dress, speak and sometimes act. Granted there are television shows that take things to extreme and somehow along the way lose all basis of reality, but sometimes it can be good to have an escape.

This being said I have decided to start this blog to share with you the finer points of TV. I will be doing at least a weekly recaps and updates on all my favorite shows, new shows and my opinions, and upcoming episodes.

The OC

Let's begin with some not so super shocking news. The OC has been cancelled. Personally, I think the first season was incredible, but after season two it kind of had it coming. With the departure of Mischa Barton as the main character Marissa, the show has fallen flat. Last night my friend Jeff and I whipped up a scrumptious batch of chicken noodle soup and settled in to watch the first episode of the season. We both decided that the magic is gone. Taylor "Trash" Townsend being with Ryan "Kid Chino" Atdaddy feels like eating a peanut butter and mustard sandwich, just wrong. After news of Seth and Summer's real life split I can hardly bare to watch the strange engagement play out. And Chris Brown? Uh, baking powder? There are rumors that The CW may pick it up for another season. My prediction is that if that happens they will be left with one character, Kaitlin. There will be so little story line that they will then merge it with One Tree Hill where Chad Michael Phillip George Murray III will try and woo Kaitlin with his mad white boy B-Ball skills, arm bands, and occasional sleeveless shirts and the converging alone will cause a rift in the space time continuum. My advice to the CW...please don't.

The Office

In a move that saved the entire evening, The Office was new. First you should know that as a person who sits at a computer all day in the middle of the office Pam is one of my favs. I like the new girl, she's cute but I am strongly Team Pam! After helping Jim with his problem, pretending to be "friends," we saw Pam's true feelings come out. Michael came back from his "all inclusive trip to Sandals Jamaica" and later let a photo slip of him and a topless Jan. In an effort to continue his vacation bliss a luau is scheduled in the warehouse. My favorite part was the beading in Michael's hair and the steel drum. You gotta love a steel drum.

30 Rock

I'm not going to lie, I watched this show one time then wrote it off. I just didn't think it was that good. Then one day at work when i was filing lots of things and no one else was in the office I turned it on for a little background noise. (You can watch full episodes online) First of all, I got sooo much filing done-Kudos to me! Second, I discovered how funny this show really is! Not only is Tracy Morgan hilar, but Alec Baldwin is hysterical! The writing is subtle and witty and I don't think I can live without this show now. Shame on me for my lack of faith in Tina Fey. If I can convince just one person to watch...I've done my part.

Tonight I will most likely not watch any TV because I am having dinner with the lovely Hilary and will be out on the town. This weekend I am planning on going to the bank...and that's about all I have planned. Thanks for reading, I hope you feel informed and maybe a little bit entertained. I should be back soon to tell you about what an incredible couple of weeks of TV are coming up! All I will say now is boop...beep...boop...beep. Yippie for Blogs!