Shirley Temple Denied

Hello all my little schnookems! I've missed you and let me first apologize for my absence. I was vacationing in the Canary Islands and missed a couple of episodes. I've got a radiant tan and a new cabana boy boyfriend, but I couldn't stop thinking about LC! On with the news. So for the past couple of episodes nothing jaw dropping or substantial has really happened at all...until this episode. We saw the return of scruffly old Jason at the end of last week's episode and were promised more this week. Oh and more we got! Now I've never been a huge Jason fan, but I've got to say I think maybe he has sewed his wild oats and finally returned to normalcy. It was totally obvs that Lauren still has the major love jones for senor Jason. She was telling anyone that would listen about her meeting back up with him for coffee. (BTW did she meet him right after rehab? Did I hear that correctly? Is that a little weird?) At first I thought that she really wanted to get back together with him, and he just wanted to be friends and atone for his past misgivings (I mean Yom Kippur is coming up people!). But he was super flirty with her right back.

It all started when they met at Ketchup (which actually sounds like a place I don't ever really want to eat) for dinner. Everything was going well. Lauren was using her little flirty voice and smiling more than I think I've ever seen her smile before. (She has thin lips I noticed more in that segment that never before. Just an observation.) And Jason was playing back-even though he totally checked out another girl. In an all too perfectly produced move, just as it looks like this faux date thingy was going off without a hitch, good ole Top Lip MaGee walks in with skinny pop wanna be Heidi. (ps Check this out if you get a chance. It's horrifyingly awesome!!!) He makes some a-hole comment about glad to see them back together again and he and Heidi sit down making dirty looks at them. I'm proud of my girl LC for keeping her cool and rising above. Heidi and Spencer, being the mature adults they are, send over a Shirley Temple in an overly 5th grade jab at Jason's drinking problem. Lame-o! Heidi is just 'baffled' at how Lauren can be speaking to Jason, her abusive, drug problemed, ex and she can't even talk to her. Oh Heidi, don't you remember the start of the season girl, 'YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!' Lauren's never going to talk to you-ever! Heidi even insinuates something about making another 'tape.' At any rate LC and Jason leave as the Blondies scream obnoxious goodbyes behind them. (pathetico) As they drive home, I realized that Lauren was falling for him yet again and I screamed a heartfelt, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" at the TV, expecting a rekindling of sorts. In a move that obviously meant that she denied her true feelings, Lauren got out of the car and left, simple as that. My happiness was to later be negated as she met Jason again for coffee and joked about going to the movies, and bowling, you know things only lame sober people do. And she also made the quintessential move that means I totally like you when she said with a smile and a playful giggle, "you're such a jerk." Ladies, is this not the equivalent of, "I'm yours forever, all you've got to do is ask?" I feel a heartbreak coming on, especially after seeing previews for next week...but I'll get to that in a second.

Although all of that was awesome, the absolute best part of last night's episode was my new hero ELODIE!!! After Heidi retold the story of how she and Spencer were just trying to be nice and send them a drink, you know to test the water (HA!) Elodie straight up calls her out. She said something to the effect of, "so what exactly did you do to make her not even want to accept a drink from you?" and, "weren't you friends with Audrina and Whitney too? What happened to that?" etc. And the best part was after she was done she said, "ok, well...I've got to finish this up so I'll see you later." BLAM-O!!! SA-LAM!!! Then cut to confused face Heidi. I think she's starting to realize that the number of Team Heidi members are dwindling quickly. You know before when I said that I thought it was all Spencer and Heidi was just innocent to it all, well I'm changing my tune. It may have started out that way, but Heidi is jumping on the evil bandwagon and riding into the sunset! All my requisite love for Heidi after this episode, and the video I saw of her earlier on TMZ has diminished.

Things to think about for next week: Previews-Jason gets engaged, wha? Did he meet this girl at rehab? Isn't part of the 12 steps to not get into a serious relationship for the next year? Uh, not that I'd know. Did someone from the Canary Islands contact you!?! I was there for a vacation, a vacation I tell you! Since when can't a girl enjoy a bottle or four of wine? Uh, moving on... Where was Audrina? Working on her oh so important relationships with Justin Dirty? How much do you love Elodie!!! I think my roommate Katy will now name her first born Elodie. Could there please be more Whitney? I'm memorized by the way she talks. "Cahl-ahhh-fohrn-yaa." Love it! Well kiddos, I'm glad to be back from my relaxing trip and back to the Hills! Let me know what you thought!